


It's The Danger, It's The Heat

by IBoatedHere



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Modern Spies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 10:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7754521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caleb quits once. </p>
<p>It only lasts all of five minutes.</p>
<p>It’s because of Ben.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's The Danger, It's The Heat

Caleb quits once. 

It only lasts all of five minutes.

It’s because of Ben.

It’s because of Ben and his stupid reckless tendencies and inability to listen to anyone (especially Caleb) when he’s told, hey, maybe don’t jump off that 4 story building with nothing to break your fall but that half empty dumpster, or hey, maybe wait for backup before you storm into that building where we know a mob boss and all his cronies are hiding out, or hey, you don’t always need to step in front of a bullet for me, I’m wearing a vest too. 

It’s the last one that sends Caleb over the edge.

They haven’t been working together all that long, certainly not long enough for Caleb to give himself the green light and admit that he is completely in love with Ben but long enough that he feels something. 

There’s something in the way his heart rate picks up whenever he looks at Ben that has nothing to do with the fact that they’re about to jump out of a plane with 40 year old parachutes that might not be packed correctly. 

Something about the way the doctors and psychiatrists press their lips together when they say Ben’s name as Caleb is hooked up to a half a dozen machines to run a dozen and a half tests before he’s cleared for service. (they say everyone’s name but Ben is the one only to pull that reaction from them)

Something about the knot Caleb gets in his stomach when Ben opens the door to his apartment before Caleb even knocks on it after coming home from a solo mission and Ben stands there smiling, barefoot, in soft grey sweatpants that say Yale down the side, before he ushers him in and asks if he’s okay. 

It’s unrequited. It’ll break his heart but it’s there. 

They’re in Craiova when it happens.

It’s a smaller city. Beautiful with great architecture and friendly people and it’s a total coincidence that this arms dealer happens to be passing through at the same time they are.

They track him to a warehouse on the outskirts of town and as Abe bitches about how typical it is (just once I’d like to fight someone in a big, fancy, mansion or on a train just like James Bond,) they pull on their gloves (Sackett’s very weird about leaving prints in case something goes wrong) and tightening the laces on their boots and pulling on their body armor. 

Ben leaves his loose on purpose. He says it’s too constricting and Caleb says that’s the point but Ben rolls his eyes and waves him off and says something under his breath about how he’s a mother hen and Caleb very clearly tells him that someone has to be. 

Caleb usually leaves him alone with it. He’ll be fine. A few bumps and bruises (a broken ankle that he walked on for miles, a concussion that had him slurring his speech for a few days) but he’s always fine.

Today, in perfect 75 degree weather with the sun shining and birds chirping and Anna and Abe and Rob bickering lightly in the background, he feels something twist in the pit of his stomach and steps right into Ben’s space and tightens the vest.

Ben lets it happen. He lifts his arms awkwardly at his sides as Caleb reaches around and tugs at the buckles. He doesn’t say anything as Caleb tightens it until it’s hard for him to breathe. 

“Are you worried about me?” Ben asks, voice light and quiet and teasing and over his shoulder the rest of the group haven’t even looked up from what they’re doing to notice them. 

Caleb lets the moment wash over them. He keeps his hands near Ben’s waist until Ben’s cheeks color and his chest expands and contracts more rapidly under vest and when he finally turns away it takes Ben a few seconds before he’s clearing his throat and briefing the team.

It’s supposed to be easy. This guy isn’t exactly a genius and they’re going in in full daylight and Anna’s been studying the map of the place for days so she knows every side entrance and blind spot like the back of her hand.

It is easy. 

The guy actually cries and apologizes and Anna laughs as Rob secures him and calls in a pick up for them and all the weapons he’s been stock piling. 

They let their guard down which is a huge mistake and no one but Ben sees the guy come out from around the corner and aim his gun at the first person he sees, Caleb.

Ben steps in front of him and Abe takes the shot and both the guy and Ben are on the ground. Ben’s at Caleb’s feet breathing harshly and the guy is across the room with Anna and Abe slowly approaching him, guns drawn, not breathing at all.

Rob is shouting into the phone saying how they need a medical team and Caleb is staring down at Ben.

Ben holds his hand up and wheezes out “help me up” and Caleb snaps and drops to his knees and whispers “are you fucking kidding me?”

Ben’s eyebrows furrow as Rob tells them they need to move it because there’s a plane overhead doing a thermal sweep and a whole swarm of people just came in side entrance and they’re just going to level the place. 

So Abe helps Ben to his feet and Anna and Rob grab the guy in restraints and they wait for their pick up a safe distance away while fire rains from the sky on the warehouse. 

Ben’s just starting to catch his breath and Anna is helping him get the vest off so they can see the damage. 

Anna helps him slip his shirt over his head and at any other moment Caleb would be looking with great interest but now he only watches Ben bat at her fluttering hands away over the small mark on his chest. 

“It’s fine,” he says. “It’ll be a bruise.”

“You’re bleeding.”

“What else is new?” Abe snorts and Caleb gives him a deadly look.

“The bullet almost went through the thing,” Anna takes turns shoving it beneath all their noses and Caleb can hear the chopper in the distance. “That was a close one.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You keep saying that,” Caleb barks and everyone startles. “You just…” He runs out of steam, not that it would have mattered because the helicopter sets down in an opening 100 feet in front of them and floods them with the sound of the whirring blades.

Anna tosses Ben’s shirt and vest back at him and he pulls them both on as he walks behind the group, always the last one to safety. 

Ben puts his hand on Caleb’s back as he pulls himself into the helicopter but that’s the last time they touch. 

He sits on the opposite side of him with his eyes closed and head pressed against the wall and it’s impossible to drift off with the noise and his cramping legs and the anger still flooding through him but he wishes he could.

He goes a week with zero contact from Ben.

Caleb hopped off the helicopter first and didn’t look back. He went straight home and ignored Ben’s calls and texts and him pounding on Caleb’s door until one of his neighbors came out and told him to knock it off. Ben knows a hundred and one ways to break into Caleb’s apartment but didn’t use any of them.

Anna tells him Ben was cleared by the medical staff almost immediately and that it really was only a scratch, I don’t know what you’re so upset about, he’s fine, and Caleb doesn’t say anything because that’s not the point even though he doesn’t know what the point is, he’s just mad and needs some time away from him. 

They finally find each other in the gym in the middle of the afternoon on Saturday. It’s raining out and Caleb just wants to hop on the treadmill for an hour to get some nervous energy out but Ben calls to him from where he’s sitting on a bench near the mats half drowning himself in a bottle of water half watching Anna and Abigail fight each other on the mat closest to him. 

Since Caleb is somewhat powerless against anything Ben suggests he ends up sparring with him while every crowds around and eggs them on.

Caleb’s not really into it. 

Ben has inches and pounds on him but Caleb’s still quick and strong and the third time Ben pins him to the mat with ease he decides to say something.

“You could at least pretend like you’re putting up a fight, Brewster.”

“He’s going easy on you because you got yourself shot,” Bradford calls and Ben rolls his eyes.

“The vest got most of it. Doesn’t even hurt anymore. No need to go easy on me.” He swipes at Caleb but Caleb dodges. “You know you didn’t even say thank you,” and it’s a joke, clearly, Ben would never ask for thanks for doing his job and protecting his team. He wants to put on a show for the crowd that’s gathered and get a rise out of Caleb to get him to hold his own and it works too well because Caleb is seeing red and lunging for him. 

It takes Ben by surprise- Caleb going from zero to sixty from one breath to the next- and he’s not able to recover as Caleb gets him to the ground and sits heavily across his lap. 

He gets hit after hit in. Ben is bleeding from somewhere, probably his lip, but so is Caleb. His knuckles connect with one of Ben’s teeth and it’s a mess but it doesn’t stop him. 

Ben’s able to deflect a few and get a couple of his own in but the angle is off and Caleb’s filled with so much rage it’s going to take a more than a sharp elbow to the kidneys to stop him. 

Ben squirms and Caleb moves with him to pin his arms against his side.

“You want me to thank you?” Caleb bites out. “You almost get yourself killed and you want my thanks?”

“It was….the vest….” he’s having a hard time speaking because Caleb’s knees are pressing so tight to his ribs. If he applies a bit more pressure he’s sure he’ll hear a crack. “Caleb, please.”

Caleb lets up just enough to allow Bent to take a huge, gasping, breath, before he’s leaning back down.

“The vest doesn’t do shit if you don’t wear it the right way. Sometimes you don’t even wear it, are you trying to get yourself killed? Is that what you want? I can’t believe you’re going to make me watch you die.”

There are hands on his shoulders pushing him off and he doesn’t realize it’s Abe until he’s standing next to Ben who is at his feet again. Deja vu. 

The whole group is quiet. Even Bradford is stunned into silence. 

Caleb catches his breath with his hands on his knees as Ben stares up at the ceiling until he lifts up with one elbow supporting his weight while his free hand cradles his jaw.

“I’m done,” Caleb says between gulps of air. “I’m not doing this anymore.”

He walks out and no one follows him. 

Later Caleb storms right into Sackett’s office in the middle of his meeting with Ben and slams down his resignation. 

The forms have always been available to them, stuck on a bulletin board in the lunchroom and easily accessible at any time. If you don’t want to be there they don’t want you there. You’ll be dropped down to office work after you sign a confidentiality notice and no one from your team is allowed to contact you again. But you won’t be killed in the line of duty. You won’t have to watch your best friend step in front of a bullet meant for you and get himself killed. 

“Didn’t you ever learn to knock?” Sackett asks him without looking up from his notes.

“Caleb, what is this?” Ben is only slightly more interested until Caleb slides the sheet over to him and says “I’m done. I told you. I meant it.”

Ben’s up from his chair and Caleb’s out the door and all he hears is Sackett very calmly saying “you had better be able to fix this Agent Tallmadge” right over Ben’s frantic “I can fix this.”

Ben’s long legs have him catching up to Caleb in no time and he wraps his hand around his arm to man handle him into an empty conference room.

“What the hell is this?”

“What does it look like, Yale? I told you I’m done.”

“I didn’t think you were being serious.”

“Well i wasn’t,” he tries to get around him but Ben’s filling the doorway, feet spread and pressed against each side of it. “Get out of my way.”

“How can I change your mind, what can I do, I’ll do anything.”

He’s desperate and begging and Caleb decides it’s not a good look on him. 

“Just tell me, I don’t want to work with anyone else.”

“There are other members on your team.”

“I know but they’re not you. I had to do it,” he says, voice dropping low even though they’re the only ones in the room. “I didn’t even think, I just stepped in front of you, I’m not sorry.”

“I would have been fine.”

“Maybe.” 

“Don’t die for me.”

“I can’t promise you that.”

And that’s the problem. Ben would step in front of a gun for anyone on the team. Caleb’s not special. Ben will still do it even if he leaves. All Caleb can do is stay and try to move before Ben does. He’ll take the hit the next time and he knows they’ll be a next time. 

“Can you try?”

Ben laughs a little, around his split lip that has a ways to go before it’s healed. He presses his tongue against it and Caleb knows he’s never leaving. He’ll never be able to walk away from this.

“You can also start tightening your Kevlar more seriously or else I’ll do it for you.”

“That’s fine.”

Caleb doesn’t know which part he’s referring to- tightening it himself or having Caleb’s hands around him doing it for him. Either scenario works.

“And could you please stop jumping off of things without knowing how high they are or what’s below and please wait for me to catch up to you before you knock down a door and run inside and….”

Caleb continues listing off things Ben needs to do, ticking them off on his fingers as Ben nods and wraps his arm around his shoulders to lead Caleb back to Sackett. 

Ben rips up the resignation notice before he tosses it in the trash.


End file.
